Mindful Moments Blog

The Myth of Self-Regulation

Mindful Moments Blog

The Myth of Self-Regulation

by Guest Author on Apr 14 2021
Self-regulation is a myth. Regulation is never about the self because we are always drawing on internal representations of what we have previously experienced in relationships. So, before our kids can self-regulate, they must first learn to co-regulate. Here's how.
My Mom-Fail Turned My Toddlers Into Teachers

Mindful Moments Blog

My Mom-Fail Turned My Toddlers Into Teachers

by Ashley Patek on Apr 07 2021
This mom shares how her two toddlers taught her a beautiful lesson in the face of her mom-fail using their family Calming Corner.
How To Heal Your Inner Child While Raising One

Mindful Moments Blog

How To Heal Your Inner Child While Raising One

by Ashley Patek on Apr 05 2021
Often, when punitive measures were used to reform our behaviors as children, it can be a challenge to step outside controlling, demanding, and commanding our kids, especially in the face of big emotions and misbehavior. So, how do we heal the child within while raising children? Here are 3 tools.
girl holding tablet, behavior chart

Mindful Moments Blog

Behavior Charts for Kids: Do They Work?

by Traci Esposito on Mar 29 2021
Behavior charts track behavior, but do they work in actually reforming it? Parents and educators can use this instead to nurture children's social-emotional skills and guide behaviors. Read more.
What Young Children Need You to Know About Separation Anxiety

Mindful Moments Blog

What Young Children Need You to Know About Separation Anxiety

by Guest Author on Mar 24 2021
Children are born with a need for attachment and so it stands to reason that separation is a great fear for many children. This doesn’t mean we cannot ever be separated from them, but rather that we take time to understand the developmental aspect of this issue so that we can fulfill their need for attachment in our absence.
We Don't Need To "Fix" Our Children's Behavior

Mindful Moments Blog

We Don't Need To "Fix" Our Children's Behavior

by Ashley Patek on Mar 22 2021
When we see our children as growing and evolving rather than needing to be trained, we realize that nothing has to be "fixed".  And it is then that they can truly flourish.
How To Create A Calm Down Space Your Kids Won't Fight About

Mindful Moments Blog

How To Create A Calm Down Space Your Kids Won't Fight About

by Ashley Patek on Mar 15 2021
We share tips on setting up your Calming Corner for more than one child so it doesn't become another thing on the list of things they argue over. 
Preschooler Teaches Her Younger Sister About Emotions While Learning To Manage Her Own

Mindful Moments Blog

Preschooler Teaches Her Younger Sister About Emotions While Learning To Manage Her Own

by Ashley Patek on Mar 11 2021
The last thing Kelly wanted was another gimmick for a tired, worn-out parent. She was overwhelmed and out of ideas on how to manage her daughters' meltdowns. But then something amazing happened ... her oldest daughter taught her youngest daughter how to use a feelings chart. 
8 Ways To De-escalate Your Child's Tantrums

Mindful Moments Blog

8 Ways To De-escalate Meltdowns With Your Child

by Ashley Patek on Mar 08 2021
Teens and toddlers alike can demonstrate aggressive or uncooperative behaviors from time to time as influenced by big emotions and neurological overwhelm. De-escalation tools help parents defuse a situation and help their child calm and regulate their system.
One Mama Realizes: My Child's Feelings Are About Her, Not Me

Mindful Moments Blog

One Mama Realizes: My Child's Feelings Are About Her, Not Me

by Ashley Patek on Mar 03 2021
I had done everything right, and yet my nine-year-old daughter was having her version of a tantrum. And then I realized her emotion wasn't about me ... it was about her. Here is how I helped her process her emotions. 
Why Sibling Rivalry is Good For Kids, And How Parents Can Make It Through

Mindful Moments Blog

Why Sibling Rivalry is Good For Kids, And How Parents Can Make It Through

by Ashley Patek on Mar 02 2021
Experts say that sibling rivalry can nurture emotional intelligence, boost social skills, and that children can learn complex lessons about communication, problem-solving, impulse control, and conflict resolution. Here is why siblings argue and what parents can do to help.
One Simple Question I Ask Myself To Keep From Yelling At My Child

Mindful Moments Blog

One Simple Question I Ask Myself To Keep From Yelling At My Child

by Ashley Patek on Jan 21 2021
This mama was able to respond instead of reacting in the face of her son's big tantrum by asking this one simple question.
6 Ways To Deal With A Public Tantrum (Or Prevent Them Altogether)

Mindful Moments Blog

6 Ways To Deal With A Public Tantrum (Or Prevent Them Altogether)

by Ashley Patek on Jan 15 2021
A public tantrum doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker, but rather a learning moment in the broad scope of a day together. We can let children know with our words and actions that, wherever we are, emotions are safe to feel. Sometimes we can decrease the likelihood of a meltdown. Here are six helpful factors to consider:
Suzanne's interview on Motherly

Mindful Moments Blog

Manage Your Emotions, And Your Child's Too: Interview With Suzanne Tucker

by Ashley Patek on Jan 14 2021
You can actually be yelling at your child and be mindful. If you notice that you're yelling... pause, and celebrate. You say to yourself, 'I'm yelling, and I noticed I'm yelling' and then take a deep breath. Now you have some power. to do something different, but not if you're busy beating yourself up.
Mom and daughter connecting

Mindful Moments Blog

 How My Five-Year-Old Taught Me Empathy

by Selina Armstrong on Dec 30 2020
This year, as parents we have had to level up our game as we navigate a global pandemic, racial injustices being brought to the forefront, civil unrest and so much more. At any one given moment, it’s hard to know whether I am thriving or just getting by. My daughter’s kindness came on a day where I was just skating by.
6 Reasons You May Be Failing Time-Ins

Mindful Moments Blog

6 Reasons You May Be Failing Time-Ins

by Ashley Patek on Dec 12 2020
If you are having trouble implementing Time-Ins in your home, or you are wondering if this is right for your family, we have some tips to help bring the science and connection into everyday life. 
Our Kids Are Listening Even When They Don't Seem Like It

Mindful Moments Blog

Our Kids Are Listening Even When They Don't Seem Like It

by Ashley Patek on Nov 23 2020
I was starting to lose hope that my three-year-old was actually absorbing anything when I talked to him about emotions or attempted to elicit empathy after he hit or kicked another in a fit of rage. But then this happened, and I realized he had been listening after all. 
Child crying

Mindful Moments Blog

Why Behavior Charts Don't Work For Most Kids

by Ashley Patek on Nov 09 2020
Behavior charts have been widely used over the past thirty years and while they may achieve the short-term goal of obedience, they miss the long-term goal of building the brain for life-long skills.
They Saw A Bratty Kid, But That Wasn't The Whole Story

Mindful Moments Blog

They Saw A Bratty Kid, But That Wasn't The Whole Story

by Ashley Patek on Nov 07 2020
What they saw was a bratty child. A clingy child. A spoiled child. And underneath it all, they saw a mother who wasn’t doing it right. But that wasn't the whole story. Our behaviors were communication for so much more.
Re-Parenting Yourself As You Parent Your Child

Mindful Moments Blog

Re-Parenting Yourself As You Parent Your Child

by Guest Author on Oct 05 2020
Remember, there is a little one wanting to be parented inside of you, too.